Student problems – Part 2
After releasing all of the content on my brain and having a big disappointment after reading the article of Ingrid Sischy analysing Salgado’s work, I saw myself in a “status quo”, or creativity crisis. He has always been one big inspiration to me, I tried to defend him in my brain as a defensive mechanism, but it did not work: Sischy won. At the end, he is a romantic and I just couldn’t accept the idea of beautification of tragedy. Tragedy is tragedy and should be treated as so. But I accept that beautiful things can still happen some places, depending on the level of the conflict or war. Life still goes on, people still get in love, have children, beauty is still somewhere there. But he did not show the “other side” as it would be fair to do so.
His book Genesis is a form of pictorial art, produced for the western world to admire and it is utopian. It’s a world that we will never see again, and it is disappearing. Whales being found with stomachs full of plastic every day, the human nature is destructive and has a thirst for conflict. Therefore, what is the answer? Is it to stay back as if nothing is happening and live in an “utopian world” or get yourself a place in the war? Which side can I personally take? I suppose that I can join wars as a support, not physically, as I have two children to raise. Maybe just being aware of the two sides is a good start. So, here we start the procrastination, a step behind when you don’t know what the next step is.
We are all procrastinators
“Everyone is procrastinating in something in life”, says Tim Urban in the video bellow. After hearing some students on the same situation and watching some videos about it, I felt slightly better about myself. The tutor said this is called “learning”, and here is exactly what happened to me.
I am not usually a procrastinator, I am on the other side of it, working constantly and living for it. I put my whole soul and read as much as I can with the time that I have, so this situation caused me extreme discomfort. Studying should lift you up, intellectual knowledge should give you pleasure, not discomfort. But here, I suppose it is a way for you to deal with your loss, maybe a type of mourning, as the person you were before is dead. This procrastination is maybe a defence mechanism to keep yourself from moving on, as if one “cannot die”. At the end, it is all about growing intellectually.
So, how did I escape out of it? One Saturday morning the children were out a party and I was there sitting with my books, notebooks, but nothing was happening. It was like a curse, I was unable to do anything, like I was possessed by some demon. So, I just decided to go outside, and I walked on the streets of Glasgow for around 45 minutes and, like a miracle, during this time my mind relaxed and my brain knew what to do next. I sat down and took some notes not to forget them. Just like that, it was back. Maybe I lost my personal demon while walking, he must have seen someone else more investing than me.
I know that this video is another form of procrastination, but don’t miss it. Informative and funny.
Cows Procrastinating. VanRynswoud, 2018.