I was supposed to be part of a group with:
As I was running late and missed the meeting, I sent a message on the Canvas group and messaged one of the members directly on Whatsapp asking to add me on their group, as I was out. Up to this moment I heard nothing back, not a comment, not a reply.
And as my name was in the group, they never also sent me a direct message asking if I would join or not. I guess that, being an online and distant course, we don’t establish a human connection, as we never get to know each other properly, unless we meet in person in one of the university events.
The online meetings are built by presentations and allows me to study, as I would not be able to attend a presential university at this point in my life. But I feel that it becomes more distant and cold because we don’t get to know each other on a closer level. It becomes all about the work, and it should be because it is an university course, but we are also humans and artists. Apart from the student advisor Roxane, but I guess this is a standard message they send to everyone when the course reaches mid-term, no one sent me a message to check the reason why I was not active.
Maybe there could be implemented a strategy to get people closer, and this could be done by the students themselves. I have made myself distant because I was unwell, I lost one of my best friends and had a hard time coping with it. I was never allowed to attend the funeral, as they decided to be for family only, and I was them invited to a party, a party that I should have missed. This is when the new culture where I have decided to be part of collapses with my original culture where I was born and did not choose.
I simply could not celebrate the death of my friend. They wanted me to drink champagne and be happy. The situation got out of control and it was probably one of the most distressing of my life, as I was them dragged into panic and my mental health instability.
The history of Michael Hutchence came back to social media recently, as they discovered some unreleased footage of his back in the 90’s. As you may know, he was involved with Paula Yates, former wife of Bob Geldof at the time of his death. Geldof described in a video the way he felt after she left him taking the children to live with Michael. The physical pain, the depression and the way he was unable to function intellectually. I saw myself there, as I felt something similar, even though his situation was way worse than mine. It affects your body and your mind and, when I heard that from him, it seemed more real. It is a reaction of the brain, thank you Bob Geldof.
I was treating myself with natural medicines for anxiety and keeping myself calm and around good and supporting friends. My family was also a great support, and my children are my everyday reason to keep going. I doubted myself, my photography, my choices. I took it one day at the time and slowly it went away and I came back to myself.
Now I am going to stop repeating myself and continue working. With answer, or no answer, this task gave me this idea to implement in my daughter’s Primary School and hopefully it will go ahead next year. I have already presented my “pitch” not to Oxfam, but to the school and they seemed interested, but mentioned that January will be a better time for it, as now they have many activities happening due to Christmas and end of year celebrations. This could be my opportunity to contribute and do some work for a good cause.
Here is my Pitch:
The subject of Global warming emerged recently and yet the actions are happening to slow to stop it. I arrived late for this exercise, unfortunately, but I am willing to do my part independently. This is the responsibility of every citizen and, as a photographer, I think I can help.
As an example, if you make children aware, the parents will become more aware as well. So, I came up with the idea to create a project in the school where my daughter study to discuss the issue of global warming. I have already sent a proposal to the president of the Parents Committee to ask for advice and to see if she would agree to go ahead with the plan. She replies saying that it is possible, but in January, as the school is now very busy preparing for the Christmas activities.
My initial idea is to create workshops with the children and to discuss the issue, the parents would be informed as well by a letter. The children would engage in creating a poster as a result and to discuss what they could do every day to reduce their footprint. I would photograph them during the process and at the end with their posters. This would need help from the parents and the school would have to authorize the workshops to take place.
The children would create a piece of art and influence their parents on their decision making. I hope that this will go ahead, it would be something fun to do in January. The hashtags could be #oneactionaday #doittoday #kidsinvolved